Deadpool's super mega awesome fan fiction
by whofan94
Summary: You loved my video game. Now check me out in my very own awesome fan fiction. Rated M because... come on. It's me. You can't have a Deadpool fic just be rated T. I'm looking at you 20th Century Fox. Mega Cross-over with, well, anything i can think of.


_italics- superego thought bubble_

**Bold- Id thought bubble**

Deadpool kicked down the door to his own apartment. He forgot his keys that day... again, but it was an more fun than calling a locksmith. In his hand was a large bone covered in blood. "Mr. Shuggums! I got you din-din!" he said in a sing-song voice. At the sound of din-din, Mr. Shuggums, Deadpool's Golden Retriever, came running to the room. "I got this from my last contract. Nice and bloody. Just the way you like it!" Deadpool threw the bone up in the air and watch Mr. Shuggums catch it with his mouth. "Now where is the delivery girl with my chimichanga?"

_Is that all you ever eat?_

**Of course not! we also like tacos!**

_I mean mexican food in general... Idiot._

**But we can't help it. they're so fucking good!**

Then there was a voice coming from the door. "Delivery for Mr. Deadpool." Deadpool turned around with his gun and shot the girl in the spot where his door used to be in the head at point blank.

"Shit."

_Good going, genius. You killed her!_

**You bastard!**

_Maybe we can get rid of the sex doll and just use her._

**PLEASE don't take Rebecca away from me!**

_You named the sex doll Rebecca? You do know she's not real right?_

**You can't tell me what i can and can't fall in love with!**

After throwing the corpse in the closet, Deadpool grabbed his laptop and sat down in his red armchair that was covered in hot sauce and piss. "Let's see. Chimichangas, check! Computer, check! Alright boys, whaddya wanna watch?"

_Cat Videos._

**Porn!**

Deadpool opens his laptop and sees a web-page he has never seen before. "What the fuck?! Mr. Shuggums! Have you been using my computer again?! Fucking dog, and what the fuck is fan fiction!?

_Ah yes. I've heard of it. Basically fans of different media writes stories. Harry Potter, Avatar, Star Wars. The list goes on._

**Sounds like a load of bullshit!**

_Well most of it is, but according to Sturgeon's law, there are some that's actually good._

**Didn't we kill a guy name Sturgeon?**

"Oops. Ah well. Let's see if there's any Deadpool stories on here." He scrolls onto the computer and checks for Deadpool fics. There were only 206. "What! How come there's only 206 stories! America loves me!"

_Eh, that's kinda debatable._

"I'll have to fix this by writing my own fan fiction!"

_Do you even know how to write?_

"Hmm. Good point. I know! I'll choose a random writer to write one for me! I love you brain!"

Deadpool took the names of all the authors who uploaded in the past month and put them on a dartboard. He faced his back against the board and threw the dart backwards. When he looked to see where it landed, he saw that the lucky person to write his fanfic was whofan94. He picked up his phone and dialed a number. "Weasel! how's that leg doing? ... Well sorry to hear that, but at least i didn't cut it off. Listen, could you find out who this whofan94 is?"

* * *

><p>Insert fucking badass transition here<p>

* * *

><p>Inside a dorm room sitting on a couch was a man typing on his computer. "Let's see. Maybe I can have Snape accuse Harry of Cheating, but begrudgingly give him an Exceeding Expectations on his potions homework. Yeah, that'll work."<p>

Suddenly, he felt something metal against his head. "You know talking to yourself is a sign of being crazy, right?" Deadpool asked from behind him.

_Then what does that make you._

"Shut up!"

The man turned around to see who it was. "Deadpool?! What the hell are you doing here!?"

"Well you are whofan94 right?"

"Uh, yeah." replied whofan94

"Well Mr. 94, I want you to write my official Fan Fiction!"

whofan94 was dumbfounded. "Really? That's why you're holding me at gunpoint is so i can write a fricken fan fiction on you!? And why choose me? I write Harry Potter fan fiction."

"Look, just write the fan fiction so i don't have to kill you. And make sure it's the most awesome, most fucking badass fan fiction ever!"

whofan94 gulped at how his life was in danger. "Fine, i'll do it, but I don't know how well it'll turn out."

"Just start typing, dickhead!" Deadpool said.

And so he did.

**A/N: So let me explain what's going on here. I love Deadpool. I think he is one of the funniest characters in marvel comics. And i wanted to write a fic about him for a while now. I've taken a lot inspiration from his video game. My plan for this fic is to make it cross over with so many characters from different medias. Harry Potter, Star Trek, Batman, you name it. Here's the thing. I need tons of ideas for this, so if you could give me what you want to see in the reviews, i'll take a look at them and i might put it in the story. This is going to be the only time i have a A/N as myself because, well, this is deadpool we're talking about. You will see me in this fic as a fictionalized version of myself making this fic. So enjoy, read, and review**

**-whofan94**


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